Ponder with Pamela

Tag: life

  • Coping with Post-Shift Fatigue: My Week in Review

    Coping with Post-Shift Fatigue: My Week in Review

    This has been a really difficult week for me. I was used to getting up and working out, and staying up all day. That DID NOT prepare me for going back to a full 8-hour shift of working.

    The first couple of days were okay, thanks to onboarding and a little time on the floor learning my new job. Wednesday rolled around, and I spent the whole day on the floor, then stood and walked around, bent, and lifted. By the time my shift was done, I was almost in tears because I was so stiff and sore it was difficult to move.

    I couldn’t even go to work on Thursday because I could barely get out of bed. I slept from 8:30 pm Wednesday until 11:00 am Thursday. I was still sore, but took some Aleve and felt a little better. I wound up taking a 2-hour nap after lunch, and then still went to bed early.

    I did go to work on Friday, and did a little better. I was more aware of what all that movement would do to me, so I went slower and took my time getting tasks done, and I sat down whenever I could.

    I was still really tired at the end of the day and a little stiff and sore. I took some Aleve when I got home and laid down for about an hour. I still went to sleep early because I was so tired.

    I slept in this morning, and then took Aleve when I got up, and I’m feeling almost back to “normal.” Thank goodness it’s a long weekend because of Labor Day.

    I don’t know what Tuesday will look like, but hopefully, my body will adjust, and I’ll be okay. If not, I’ll just have to find another job that is kinder to my body.

    Unfortunately, jobs are scarce in my area, and I seriously need the money to get back on track with all of my bills. Even remote jobs have been difficult to find that pay enough and aren’t part-time.

    Check back to see what happens in my daily life!

    The dogs are snoring. I’m signing off. See you tomorrow. 💜

  • How Working from Home Enhances Mental Health

    How Working from Home Enhances Mental Health

    June 10, 2025

    Today was a good day, boring, but good. And honestly? I’m learning to really appreciate boring good days when you’re managing chronic illness. Boring means no crisis, no flares, no unexpected challenges. Boring can be beautiful.

    Morning Routine Success

    I enjoyed my morning routine, which continues to set such a positive foundation for everything that follows. The consistency is becoming automatic now, and I can feel how much my body and mind have come to depend on this gentle, nurturing start to each day.

    There’s something deeply satisfying about having a routine that actually serves you rather than feeling like another obligation to check off a list.

    Professional Development Progress

    I spent most of the day continuing my onboarding at RWS, which consisted of watching training videos, reading policies, and taking tests on all the information they’ve provided. It’s methodical work, but I’m making steady progress.

    I still have one more section to complete tomorrow, and then I’ll be finished with the onboarding process and hopefully getting to actually start doing some real work. There’s anticipation building around transitioning from preparation to actual productivity.

    The Gift of Working from Home

    Today was a beautiful, sunny day, and I absolutely love that I can sit at my dining room table, look outside, and feel the fresh breeze coming through the windows while I work. This is such a dramatically better work environment than being stuck in a stuffy office or trapped on a production floor with no windows.

    The mental health benefits of working from home can’t be overstated, especially when you’re managing chronic conditions. Being able to control your environment, including the lighting, air flow, noise level, and seating arrangement, makes a difference in how your body feels throughout the day.

    Natural Light and Well-Being

    Having access to natural light and fresh air while working feels like a luxury, but it’s actually essential for my well-being. The sunshine streaming in helps with my ongoing battle against Seasonal Affective Disorder, and the breeze keeps the space from feeling stagnant.

    When you spend years working in windowless environments or offices where you can’t control the temperature or air quality, the simple pleasure of fresh air becomes something you never take for granted again.

    Appreciating the Mundane

    There’s something to be said for pleasantly uneventful days. No drama, no health crises, no major obstacles, just steady progress on necessary tasks while feeling physically comfortable and mentally calm.

    When you live with chronic illness, you learn that boring days are actually precious. They’re the days when your body cooperates, your energy is steady, and you can simply focus on moving forward without having to manage symptoms or navigate unexpected challenges.

    Building Sustainable Work Life

    This combination of working from home, having flexible scheduling, and being able to maintain my morning self-care routines feels like the foundation for a sustainable work life that actually supports my health rather than undermining it.

    Tomorrow I’ll finish the onboarding and hopefully start the actual work. But today’s “boring” progress feels like exactly what I need, which is steady, manageable, and peaceful.

    Here’s to more boring good days and the appreciation that comes from knowing how valuable they really are! 💜

    Sometimes the most beautiful days are the unremarkable ones where everything just works quietly and smoothly in the background.

    The dogs are snoring. I’m signing off. See you tomorrow. 💜

  • Embracing Good Days: Managing Chronic Conditions

    Embracing Good Days: Managing Chronic Conditions

    June 3, 2025

    Today was another wonderfully good day for me. It happened to be my daughter’s birthday, which made everything feel extra special. There’s something magical about feeling well on days that matter most.

    Morning Rituals and Birthday Prep

    I got up and enjoyed my usual morning routine of reading while drinking my coffee. There’s something so grounding about starting the day quietly before the activities begin.

    Then I dove into making my daughter’s birthday cake. One of those mom moments that feels important, no matter how your body is feeling. I’ve been making this cake for years, and we don’t have it often. So when we do, it’s a special occasion. I get a box of devil’s food cake mix and then add in a can of cherry pie filling. It’s so good!

    Being able to bake for someone you love when you’re feeling good is such a gift. The kitchen felt like a place of celebration rather than a source of exhaustion.

    Day of Strength Training

    I managed to squeeze in time for my strength training workout, and overall it went really well! I’m discovering that these beginner videos for people over 50 are perfectly calibrated for my needs and limitations.

    I did have trouble with the squats because my knees and hips aren’t quite ready for that movement yet. Everything else felt manageable and even empowering. It’s okay to modify or skip exercises that don’t work for your body. That’s the beauty of working out at home with videos.

    Birthday Celebration Simplicity

    My daughter and I had pizza for lunch and spent time binge-watching Netflix together. Sometimes the best celebrations are the simple ones. Good food, quality time, and zero pressure to be anywhere or do anything elaborate.

    Having the energy to enjoy relaxed time together without feeling guilty about not being productive felt like its own kind of birthday gift.

    Small Victories Add Up

    I even managed to take the trash cans out to the curb for tomorrow’s pickup, and it’s been quite a while since I’ve been able to handle that task. It might seem small, but when you’re managing chronic conditions, completing routine household tasks without exhaustion feels like a real achievement.

    These little signs of increased capability are so encouraging.

    Weather Appreciation and Reality

    I’m absolutely loving all this beautiful weather we’ve been having! The sunshine and warmth seem to be contributing significantly to these good days. Unfortunately, we have storms coming our way again from Thursday through Saturday, so I’m planning to enjoy these nice days while I can.

    Weather awareness becomes such an important part of chronic illness management. Appreciating the good weather days while preparing mentally and physically for the challenging ones.

    Building on Success

    Two days into this new exercise routine and I’m already seeing real benefits. More energy, less pain, and the ability to accomplish daily tasks that have been difficult lately. Even with the squat modification needed, I feel proud of what my body accomplished today.

    Tomorrow brings Yoga Wednesday. Another gentle practice to look forward to. Here’s to riding this wave of good days and building strength one workout at a time! 💜

    Sometimes the best birthday gift you can give someone you love is showing up fully present because you feel good enough to be there completely.

    The dogs are snoring. I’m signing off. See you tomorrow. 💜

  • How Weather Affects Chronic Conditions

    How Weather Affects Chronic Conditions

    May 31, 2025

    Today was one of those days that reminded me just how much weather affects everything when you’re living with chronic conditions. The sun finally came out and it almost made it up to 70 degrees – what a difference that made!

    Career Development on a Good Day

    I spent a good portion of the day working on certifications through OneForma so I can get back to work. There’s something hopeful about investing time in professional development, especially when you’re navigating the job market with chronic illness considerations. Every certification feels like another tool in the toolkit, another way to show potential employers your value and capabilities.

    It felt good to focus on something forward-looking and productive, particularly with the mental clarity that seems to come with better weather days.

    The Laundry Victory

    The real victory of the day? I managed to do three full loads of laundry AND actually got it all put away! Anyone with chronic illness knows this is no small feat. Laundry has this sneaky way of becoming an overwhelming multi-day project when energy is limited.

    But feeling better with the change in weather gave me just enough sustained energy to tackle the whole process from start to finish. There’s something deeply satisfying about conquering a household task completely rather than having it hang over you in various stages of completion.

    Signs of Spring Joy

    The ice cream trucks were even out and about today! There’s something so cheerful about hearing those familiar melodies drifting through the neighborhood. It’s one of those simple sounds that signals warmer weather and better days ahead.

    After so many gray, cool days, these little signs of seasonal normalcy feel extra special.

    Balancing Productivity and Rest

    Even with all that energy, I made sure to include some downtime – coloring while watching TV. It’s become such an important part of my routine, providing that perfect blend of gentle creativity and relaxation that works even when I’m tired.

    The key is learning to ride the wave of good energy days without completely depleting tomorrow’s reserves. Today felt like I found that sweet spot – productive but sustainable.

    Weather as Medicine

    It’s amazing how much difference sunshine and warmer temperatures can make when you’re dealing with chronic conditions. The improved mood, increased energy, and reduced pain levels all seemed to align today. It’s like the weather itself became medicine.

    Days like today remind me why it’s so important to maximize the good moments when they come, while also being gentle with myself when the gray days return.

    Here’s hoping this is the start of more consistent spring weather – my body and spirit are definitely ready for it! 💜

    Sometimes the best therapy is sunshine, productivity that feels manageable, and the simple joy of ice cream truck melodies in the distance.

    The dogs are snoring. I’m signing off. See you tomorrow. 💜

  • Coping with SAD: Finding Joy on Gloomy Days

    Coping with SAD: Finding Joy on Gloomy Days

    May 30, 2025

    Today was another cool and rainy day here in Ohio. I honestly can’t believe we’re getting this much rain, and the temperatures are staying so much cooler than normal. I’m definitely ready to see more of the sun. My body and soul are both craving it.

    Late May SAD

    It’s the end of May and I’m still suffering from Seasonal Affective Disorder… how sad is that? (Pun intended, because sometimes you have to laugh about these things.) Most people expect SAD to be a winter problem, but when spring refuses to actually spring and you’re dealing with weeks of gray skies and rain, that seasonal depression can linger much longer than anyone anticipates.

    The lack of consistent sunshine really affects everything when you’re already managing chronic conditions. The gray days seem to amplify fatigue, worsen pain levels, and make everything feel just a little bit harder than it should be.

    Productivity Despite the Gray

    Despite the dreary weather, I did manage to get more designs completed for my RedBubble store. There’s something satisfying about creating colorful, hopeful graphics when the world outside your window is anything but colorful. It’s like injecting a little brightness into the day through creativity.

    Each new design feels like a small act of rebellion against the gloom. I’m taking difficult experiences and transforming them into something beautiful and meaningful that might help someone else.

    Choosing Simple Pleasures

    At some point today, I made the conscious decision to just put everything aside and watch TV with my daughter. I spent time coloring, which has become one of my favorite low-energy activities.

    I have both physical coloring books with markers and a coloring app on my tablet that I absolutely love, especially when I’m resting in bed. All I need is my tablet and stylus, and I can create something beautiful without having to sit up or expend much physical energy.

    The Therapy of Coloring

    There’s something incredibly therapeutic about coloring, whether it’s with traditional materials or digitally. It’s meditative, creative, and accomplishable even on low-energy days. The repetitive motions, the focus on staying within lines, and the satisfaction of watching something come to life with color. It’s perfect for chronic illness management.

    Finding Light in Gray Days

    While I’m definitely ready for more sunshine and warmer weather, today reminded me that comfort and creativity can happen regardless of what’s going on outside. Sometimes the best thing you can do on a gray day is embrace the cozy, find simple pleasures, and create your own little pockets of color and joy.

    Here’s hoping tomorrow brings at least a little more light, but if not, I know we’ll find ways to make our own. 💜

    When the weather won’t cooperate with your need for sunshine, sometimes you have to create your own brightness through small, colorful moments.

    The dogs are snoring. I’m signing off. See you tomorrow. 💜

  • Navigating Life with Chronic Illness: A Journey of Acceptance

    Navigating Life with Chronic Illness: A Journey of Acceptance

    May 26, 2025 – Evening

    I saved up all my energy today to shower this afternoon, giving me some time for those deep thoughts that only seem to come when you’re standing under warm water. Today’s shower thoughts were heavy ones. I’m actively saying goodbye to the life I used to have and trying to embrace and be okay with the life I have now.

    But honestly? It’s hard. Really, really hard.

    The Life I Used To Live

    I used to be able to work 12-hour days and still have energy left over to grocery shop, clean the house, and do laundry. All in the same day. I was a productivity machine, checking things off my to-do list like it was a competitive sport.

    My days look so completely different now. My energy level lets me do one main event per day, and sometimes even that feels like I’m pushing it. Today’s main event was a shower. That’s it. And I had to plan for it and rest up beforehand.

    I don’t even know the person that I have become.

    The Small Losses That Add Up

    I used to have long hair, and I absolutely loved it. I don’t like having short hair. Honestly, I think it looks terrible on me. But I cut it recently because I just don’t have the energy to deal with having long hair anymore. The washing, the drying, the styling, it became this insurmountable task that would wipe me out for hours.

    I have moments when I look around my house and desperately want to clean and organize, and put things away. The desire is there, the motivation is there. But then reality hits. I don’t have the energy to just get up and do that anymore. The spirit is willing, but the body has other plans.

    Living Within New Limits

    Everything requires planning now. Every single thing. I have to strategically think about my limited energy reserves and high pain levels before making any decision. Should I shower today or save my energy for that phone call I need to make? Can I handle a trip to the store, or do I need to ask someone else to pick up what I need, or have it delivered?

    It’s like living life with a constantly dying phone battery, except you can’t just plug yourself into a wall charger and be back to 100% in an hour.

    The Path Less Understood

    This journey of chronic illness is one that’s difficult to explain to people who haven’t walked it themselves. It’s grieving your old self while trying to build a relationship with your new reality. It’s finding ways to feel productive and valuable when your definition of accomplishment has completely changed.

    Some days, taking a shower IS the accomplishment. Some days, making it through without crying is a victory. Some days, finding a moment of gratitude despite everything is the biggest win of all.

    A Message for the Healthy World

    So if you’re someone who knows someone with a chronic illness, please give them a hug the next time you see them. We’re walking a path that’s completely different from everyone else’s, and it’s an extremely difficult one.

    We’re not the same people we used to be, and we’re still figuring out who we’re becoming. That takes tremendous courage, even when it doesn’t look like much from the outside.

    Sometimes the bravest thing we do is simply keep going, one limited-energy day at a time.

    The dogs are snoring. I’m signing off. See you tomorrow. 💜

  • Finding Comfort: Coping with Chronic Pain and Flare Days

    Finding Comfort: Coping with Chronic Pain and Flare Days

    May 25, 2025

    Today was a necessary rest day after overdoing it yesterday. I knew I had pushed too hard, and my body made sure to remind me of that fact. So today was all about damage control. I did everything I could to manage the flare-up before it got any worse.

    My daughter and I spent the entire day curled up watching Netflix together. Sometimes the best medicine is just giving yourself permission to do absolutely nothing productive except heal and spend time with the people you love most.

    Despite feeling rough, I did manage to get some posts scheduled for Chronically Hustling from bed (thank goodness for laptops and the ability to work horizontally!). I also completely revamped my Patreon – you should definitely head over and check out what I’ve put together. Even on flare days, sometimes those little bursts of creative energy surprise you.

    My Flare Day Dream Team

    Today my lifelines were:

    • My daughter (who also happens to be my best friend) – nothing beats quality time with your favorite person
    • My puppies – because cuddles from furry friends always help more than any medicine
    • My husband – who continues to be amazing by handling almost all the cooking (seriously, what would I do without him?)
    • My trusty neck massager – during flare-ups, my worst pain always settles in my neck and shoulders, and this device is worth its weight in gold

    The Reality of Chronic Illness Management

    This is what living with chronic conditions actually looks like. The constant balance between pushing yourself when you feel good and paying for it later. Yesterday felt manageable, so I did more. Today, my body is asking for that energy back with interest.

    But here’s what I’ve learned: rest days aren’t failures. They’re part of the management strategy. They’re investing in tomorrow by taking care of today.

    Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is recognize when your body needs you to stop and listen. Today was one of those days. I’m grateful I had the support system and tools to make it through reasonably comfortably.

    Here’s to hoping tomorrow brings a little more energy and a little less pain. For now, I’m signing off from my cozy Netflix nest.

    Living with chronic illness means some days are for doing, and some days are for healing. Both are equally important.

    The dogs are snoring. I’m signing off. See you tomorrow. 💜

  • How I’m Rebuilding After Being Ghosted by My Remote Job

    How I’m Rebuilding After Being Ghosted by My Remote Job

    Ponderings from May 8, 2025

    This has been a really stressful week for me, and I’ve had to hit pause more than once. I’m working full-time from home now because my day job was suddenly phased out, with no warning.

    I was already doing part-time work remotely, but earlier this week, while trying to submit my work, my screen suddenly blanked out. Just like that, I couldn’t access anything. I’ve earned no income this week and honestly, it’s been depressing.

    To top it off, I haven’t heard a word from the company. No explanation, no goodbye, just silence. I’ve officially been ghosted by a job I was working nearly 60 hours a week for. It’s frustrating and unprofessional, and it stings more than I expected.

    I’ve spent a lot of time sleeping this week. As someone living with multiple chronic illnesses, that kind of shutdown makes everything harder, physically and mentally.

    Still, I’ve been pushing forward, filling out job applications every day. I finally heard back from one company today, and I’m going through their training program now. So fingers crossed, I’m hopeful this might be a fresh start.

    What’s gotten me through? My family (including my two fur babies) and music, especially Jelly Roll. His song “I Am Not Okay” was my anthem this week. His lyrics hit so differently when you’re going through it.

    On a lighter note, I’m also an Amazon Affiliate, and I’ll be sharing products I personally use and recommend. I’ll add new finds as I order them, and once I’ve used them for a week or two, I’ll post honest reviews right here. If you see a product listed without a review yet, it’s something I’m currently trying out!

    Thanks for being here and following along. This space helps me process, reflect, and connect.

    The dogs are snoring. I’m signing off. See you tomorrow. 💜