Ponder with Pamela

Tag: chronic illness blog

  • Building Resilience: Exercise and Routine in Pain

    Building Resilience: Exercise and Routine in Pain

    June 5, 2025

    Rain and clouds brought some familiar pain along with them today, just as predicted. It’s remarkable how accurately my body can forecast weather changes – sometimes I feel like a human barometer when those pressure drops hit.

    Persistence Despite the Weather

    Even though I was definitely feeling the weather shift with increased pain and fatigue, I still got up and completed my daily routine and strength training this morning. That felt like a real victory, especially knowing how easy it would have been to skip it when my body was already protesting.

    Four days into this exercise routine and I’m learning that consistency matters even more on the difficult days. Maybe especially on the difficult days. The movement didn’t magically erase the weather-related symptoms, but it did provide some counterbalance to the stiffness and discomfort.

    Professional Development on a Pain Day

    The rest of my day was spent working on testing and qualifications for various job positions. Trying to focus and perform well on assessments when you’re dealing with increased pain and brain fog adds an extra layer of challenge to an already stressful process.

    But I pushed through and completed what I needed to do. Sometimes that’s what chronic illness management looks like. Showing up and doing what needs to be done even when your body isn’t cooperating fully.

    The Weather Reality Check

    This wasn’t a bad day, but it definitely wasn’t as good as the amazing few days I’ve had recently. The contrast is striking. Just yesterday, I was walking three blocks and feeling energized, and today the simple act of concentrating on work tasks felt more challenging.

    I definitely felt the change in weather with that familiar combination of minor pain increases and subtle fatigue. It’s a reminder that progress with chronic illness isn’t always linear, and external factors like weather will always be part of the equation.

    Building Resilience Through Routine

    What I’m proud of is that even on a weather-affected day, I maintained my new routines. The exercise happened. The work got done. I adapted to how I was feeling without abandoning my commitments to myself.

    This is exactly why building sustainable habits matters, because they carry you through the harder days when motivation alone wouldn’t be enough.

    Tomorrow’s Forecast

    The weather is supposed to continue being stormy through Monday, so I’m mentally preparing for some more challenging days. But I’m also feeling confident that I have tools now. The exercise routine, better planning, and realistic expectations. With these tools I will navigate weather-related flares more successfully.

    Here’s to maintaining momentum even when the skies are gray. 💜

    Progress isn’t measured only on the good days – sometimes it’s most evident in how you show up when conditions aren’t ideal.

    The dogs are snoring. I’m signing off. See you tomorrow. 💜

  • Navigating Life with Chronic Illness: A Journey of Acceptance

    Navigating Life with Chronic Illness: A Journey of Acceptance

    May 26, 2025 – Evening

    I saved up all my energy today to shower this afternoon, giving me some time for those deep thoughts that only seem to come when you’re standing under warm water. Today’s shower thoughts were heavy ones. I’m actively saying goodbye to the life I used to have and trying to embrace and be okay with the life I have now.

    But honestly? It’s hard. Really, really hard.

    The Life I Used To Live

    I used to be able to work 12-hour days and still have energy left over to grocery shop, clean the house, and do laundry. All in the same day. I was a productivity machine, checking things off my to-do list like it was a competitive sport.

    My days look so completely different now. My energy level lets me do one main event per day, and sometimes even that feels like I’m pushing it. Today’s main event was a shower. That’s it. And I had to plan for it and rest up beforehand.

    I don’t even know the person that I have become.

    The Small Losses That Add Up

    I used to have long hair, and I absolutely loved it. I don’t like having short hair. Honestly, I think it looks terrible on me. But I cut it recently because I just don’t have the energy to deal with having long hair anymore. The washing, the drying, the styling, it became this insurmountable task that would wipe me out for hours.

    I have moments when I look around my house and desperately want to clean and organize, and put things away. The desire is there, the motivation is there. But then reality hits. I don’t have the energy to just get up and do that anymore. The spirit is willing, but the body has other plans.

    Living Within New Limits

    Everything requires planning now. Every single thing. I have to strategically think about my limited energy reserves and high pain levels before making any decision. Should I shower today or save my energy for that phone call I need to make? Can I handle a trip to the store, or do I need to ask someone else to pick up what I need, or have it delivered?

    It’s like living life with a constantly dying phone battery, except you can’t just plug yourself into a wall charger and be back to 100% in an hour.

    The Path Less Understood

    This journey of chronic illness is one that’s difficult to explain to people who haven’t walked it themselves. It’s grieving your old self while trying to build a relationship with your new reality. It’s finding ways to feel productive and valuable when your definition of accomplishment has completely changed.

    Some days, taking a shower IS the accomplishment. Some days, making it through without crying is a victory. Some days, finding a moment of gratitude despite everything is the biggest win of all.

    A Message for the Healthy World

    So if you’re someone who knows someone with a chronic illness, please give them a hug the next time you see them. We’re walking a path that’s completely different from everyone else’s, and it’s an extremely difficult one.

    We’re not the same people we used to be, and we’re still figuring out who we’re becoming. That takes tremendous courage, even when it doesn’t look like much from the outside.

    Sometimes the bravest thing we do is simply keep going, one limited-energy day at a time.

    The dogs are snoring. I’m signing off. See you tomorrow. 💜

  • Today Was a Full Day, and I’m Proud of It

    Today Was a Full Day, and I’m Proud of It

    May 17, 2025

    Today was a pretty good day overall.

    It started with a grocery run with my husband. Now, I know that might not sound like a big deal to most people, but for someone living with chronic illness, it absolutely is. Crowds, noise, and the physical effort — it all adds up. My anxiety always spikes when I leave the house, especially when I know I’ll be around a lot of people. Thankfully, my husband has this calming presence that helps me push through. If I can just get out the door with him, the rest usually feels manageable… even if it still wears me out.

    After a quick lunch, I was back out the door — this time with my daughter. She’s dealing with an infected tooth, so we took a trip to the ER. Miraculously, we were in and out in less than 30 minutes. Then came the pharmacy stop to get her prescription filled.

    By the time we got home from that adventure, I was completely wiped. So I did what I’ve learned to do without guilt. I lay down and rested.

    When I got back up, I felt a little better. And I used that energy to do something important: I finished the last part of my final exam for RWS. Now all that’s left is waiting to find out if I passed.

    Every part of today, from grocery shopping, to being there for my daughter, to completing something big for myself reminded me that progress doesn’t always look flashy. Sometimes, it looks like showing up anyway, resting when needed, and finishing what you start. 🌿

    The dogs are snoring. I’m signing off. See you tomorrow. 💜

  • Cuddles, Calm, and a New Chapter

    Cuddles, Calm, and a New Chapter

    May 13, 2025

    Today was a pretty good day. My daughter and I binge-watched Orange is the New Black and just relaxed. I got some extra cuddles from my fur babies too, which is always a bonus.

    I did finally receive the General Guidelines file I’d been waiting for, later in the day, of course. By that point, I decided to wait until tomorrow to really start digging into it. There’s a lot to go over, and I want to be fully focused.

    Plus, I was just enjoying the time with all of my kids. I don’t feel like I’ve had much of that lately. I was working almost 60 hours a week at my previous job, plus working on my book and working on my blog. It an all be a lot at times, but I enjoy it.

    I’m genuinely excited to get through this final exam and finally get back to work. I have a good feeling about this job. It already feels like I’ll have way more support than I had at my last one.

    The dogs are snoring. I’m signing off. See you tomorrow. 💜